Your Mom Liked It And Made Me A Sandwich

I will not simper, I will not cater, I will not "treat you right" I will treat you how I feel like treating you. I will likely piss you off. I might make you laugh. I will look into your soul and i will see you, and that's probably terrifying. I would much rather give you what you need than what you think you want.

I will not be everyone's cup of tea. I'm a double shot of well liquor mixed with rumpleminz and the best mistake you could ever hope to make.
Here's my menu:
$150 = spiritual guidance, massage, awesome/and/or/funny lore, you leave better than you walked in.
$200 = all that and a blow job, and trust these mouth muscles work out.
$350 = full service, you provide a condom.
$400+ = Special/particular requests? Role play? Wardrobe? Kink? BDSMplay? My big no's are anal and water sports. Other than than I'm usually open for discussion and negotiation. ...

...If you are hosting anyway.
From now on I don't host incalls unless they are in some way paid in advance. I've lost too much money on shit not worth my time. Same as yall have. So the only deposit I ask is that you meet me for a drink first and you pay for the hotel and I book it in front of you. I don't do car dates. I don't do half hours or quick visits. I do real or nothing. I'm not always nice, but I'm generally fair and kind. Aight that's enough for now I'm sure y'all will give me lots of reason to edit.